Stay Calm & Be Cool

Lately there has been a lot of religious nonsense going on that I thought it was time for me to pause and reflect on my life… and after much intense deliberation that took all of 15 minutes, I came up with a set of guidelines/commandments/rules for an ideal way of life, a religion even. Lets call this, the ‘Stay Calm & Be Cool’ religion.

  1. Thou shall not lie, steal, cheat, con, fool, scam, hoodwink or bamboozle anyone because…that ain’t cool, bro!
  2. Thou shall do good things unto others, not because some invisible guy in the sky said so but because of common sense, manners, courtesy, empathy, goodwill etc.
  3. Thou shall eat whatever thou wants, whenever thou wants and wherever thou wants. But seriously bro, read the label and/or google that stuff before you eat.
  4. Common sense is not so common. It is neither inherited nor available online or offline. It needs to be earned, just like respect.
  5. Thou shall always be happy. Thou shall not knowingly or willingly make anyone unhappy …unless that person is a total douche, then please, by all means go ahead.
  6. Thou shall not kill people. Thou is free to kill their egos however.
  7. Thou shall not discriminate against anyone in any form because everybody is fucked up in their own miserable ways, including you.
  8. Thou shall not get offended simply because somebody has a different opinion than yours, however stupid that might be.
  9. Thou shall strive to get oneself and everybody else educated. Explore the world and learn because education is more than the degrees and certificates you hold.
  10. Thou shall stop using thou so much. Just STAAPHH!!!
  11. The internet is a digital quicksand. Be afraid, be very afraid.
  12. It is not about who is stronger sex and who is the weaker sex. It is all about what we can do Together, other than sex, that is.
  13. Sex is great! Completely natural and recommended daily. But don’t cheat on your partner, that’s not cool!
  14. Everybody lies. Everybody leaves. Shit happens. Deal with it.
  15. There is always a better explanation than ‘Gods will’. Or in other words, ‘Science, Bitch!!’
  16. Having loving parents is a privilege. Being a loving parent is an art.
  17. The purpose of life is not solely limited to getting married and having kids.
  18. Music is awesome. Your collection of songs tell a lot about who you are.
  19. Have a favourite sports team or athlete and live vicariously through their success and failures. You owe your miserable lives at least that much.
  20. Animals are meant to roam this planet, not locked in chains or shot dead for fun. And yes, some of them taste delicious.
  21. Stop shitting on the planet so much, people! Come on!!
  22. War and violence is never the answer unless the question is ‘What is the stupidest thing mankind still indulges in?’
  23. All disputes among men shall be settled by referring to the Bro Code. If it not in the Bro Code, it is not worth our time and the dispute will be instantaneously discarded.
  24. Sorry girls, I am unaware of what code you beautiful creatures follow…let me know so that I can edit this point later.
  25. FRIENDS are an important part of life. I mean, that TV show is just awesome! And yeah, those people things are important too.
  26. Sarcasm is a language that can neither be taught nor learnt, it can only be understood and expressed.
  27. No means No. Learn to say no. And more importantly, learn to hear & understand no as well.
  28. Can this religion BE any more awesome?!
  29. And last but not least, Stay Calm and Be Cool. Just chill bro!
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Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

Super Agent Ethan Hunt is back with a new mission that is deemed impossible but he still goes through and manages to overcome the odds anyway. This time, he goes after an international crime organization named the Syndicate. However, just to stack odds against him, the head of CIA convinces some old dudes to disband the IMF team and essentially brands Hunt as a fugitive. Not sure why though, maybe he thought that the best way to appreciate someone for saving the country & the world multiple times is to discredit them and launch an international manHunt. And here I thought my appraisal was bad for this year!

So now Hunt is chasing the Syndicate, the CIA is chasing Hunt and the Syndicate is busy causing the kind of shit the CIA is supposed to be preventing in the first place. That is just a vicious cycle of destruction right there. So I got my popcorn and continued watching the movie.

Now, Ethan Hunt is supposed to be really smart but the head of the Syndicate is shown to be even smarter. He is so smart that he doesn’t have time for emotions, voice modulations or facial expressions. He easily traps Hunt and has him tied up in some low lit dungeon. There is a British lady with him there who carefully removes her shoes and then her coat. But before she can continue her wardrobe reduction process, some thugs barge in to beat up Hunt. Not sure what she was going to do with Hunt before getting so rudely interrupted but evidently it didn’t make her happy so she helps him kill all the bad guys and escape.

Six months later, CIA closes in on Hunt because Mr Jealous didn’t have anything better to do. But he is a step ahead of them. Actually, he is several steps ahead because while CIA thinks he is in Cuba, Ethan is busy doing pull-ups in Paris. He still busy on the Syndicates trail and learns that they want someone dead. That dude must have been very important as they have come up with three separate plans to assassinate him; four if you count listening to an Opera! Long story short, British Lady looks Awesome and that important guy is blown to smithereens.

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Evidently, the British Lady is an MI6 agent infiltrating the Syndicate. To sell her cover, she is thrown out of a moving car, but only after ensuring that her shoes remain intact in her hands. Who the hell throws a hot girl off a car along with her shoes?? The Syndicate head, aka Mr Blanks wants British Lady to use Hunt to retrieve some file from some secure computer that is both underground and underwater. The only way in is through the pipe that feeds the water to the secure facility below. Since it is a Mission Impossible movie, the water is pressurized & swirling around and no metal can pass through those pipes. So they decide they are going to hold their breath underwater for 3 mins, which apparently is enough time for them to steal whatever they want. I just want to take a moment here to state that if I was in charge of designing this ‘secure’ facility, I would have put a grill inside that pipe so that random objects like international spies don’t enter my facility.

Anyway, they get what they want but not before Ethan runs out of oxygen and British Lady pulls him out of the water because she looks good in a swim suit. However, she betrays them and runs off with the all-important file that is conveniently in an USB. She then knocks down the Syndicate men before fleeing them as well, leaving me even more confused. Is she a double agent or a triple agent now? Who is she actually working for? And why is she so hot?? See the below pic for example!

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A Road Rash bike chase sequence follows and all the bad guys crash one by one. Ethan is still chasing after the British Lady until she suddenly pops up in front of him leaving him to swerve and crash his bike. Hey Ethan, look where chivalry has got you, my friend!

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Ethan and his team; Funny guy, ‘too many days in gym’ guy and ‘I want to attend meetings and say stuff’ guy try to access the file. They have the file because funny guy always takes backups. They learn that this file can only be opened if the British Prime Minister himself speaks a keyword. Well, if it was the previous Indian PM, then that file would have never got opened! So Ethan comes up with a ‘brilliant’ plan of kidnapping the British PM, mainly because this is a Mission Impossible movie and not a Mission Logical movie.

British Lady is now shown to be blackmailed by her own MI6, so she goes back to Mr Blanks. I have given up trying to figure her out. She then distracts Ethan with the idea of running away together leaving Funny guy to get kidnapped. Well, this movie is doing nothing to dispel the notion that women can’t be trusted. It doesn’t help either that the only other female character in this movie dies within 60 seconds of coming on screen!

The British PM is then warned of the impending danger by the heads of CIA and MI6. He is then promptly shot by his own countryman. But wait, that was just a tranquilizer/truth serum and wait some more, that is Ethan in disguise! They manage to get that file opened and set off to bargain for Funny guy’s release. Mr Blanks understandably wants everyone dead. But Ethan has memorized everything in that file and destroyed the USB forcing Mr Blanks to set everyone free. British Lady and Ethan team up and are on the run from the Syndicate members. British Lady gets into a fist fight with a side villain who has the worst nickname ever, ‘Bone Doctor’! It doesn’t go too well for her, so she brings out her knives and then easily beats him. Hmm…well, at least they didn’t show her using a frying pan or something.

Meanwhile Ethan leads Mr Blanks to a trap, a bullet proof glass chamber. Blanks has been captured and for once, he has no way out. Hunt and his team wins; another ‘Impossible’ mission is done and dusted. Everybody is happy, even Mr Jealous. He argues successfully in getting the IMF reinstated paving the way for at least one more installment in this long running franchise.

All things said, this movie is a good watch. However, just like the opening sequence that promised so much yet felt cut short, this latest instalment doesn’t quite hit it out of the park. The action scenes are good and there are plenty of laughs but the wow factor isn’t as high as the previous MI movie; remember the Burj Khalifa scenes??