Action Jackson: Movie Review

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Be criminally good; this is one of the many catchphrases of the lead guy in this film. I am not calling him the hero because in this film, no one comes off good. Not a single one. I don’t know about the whole movie but Ajay Devgn’s dances moves were criminally good, ie it was so bad that it was good. Apparently waving someone good bye is a dance move now.

Ajay Devgn plays Vishy, a guy who roams around town beating up bad guys and slapping his friend. So naturally a girl falls in love with him. You would think Vishy is a pretty violent guy but hold on, Ajay also plays AJ who takes violence to the next level. AJ takes off his shirt and beats bad guys to a pulp, smashes them into random nearby object, slices through them with a samurai sword and leaves a trail of utter destruction. So naturally he also gets the girl, a beautiful Yami Gautam falls in love with him and they get married.

But since AJ is extra violent and a general sociopath, he gets a bonus point; another girl falls madly in love with him. How to describe this pleasant lady? She is the kind of girl you show your parents if you want them to get a heart attack. Hell, she is the kind of girl who looks like she could give You a heart attack if you ever got into be….ohh sorry, can’t say more…family audience reading this. In the movie she is called Marina, but I am gonna call her Madam Crazy.

Sonakshi Sinha is Kushi who falls for Vishy because their names rhyme together. Seriously. No, don’t believe me? Okay let me tell you what exactly happened. Kushi is a girl with permanent bad luck. But that bad luck changes once she catches sight of Vishy’s thing. Yeah. Not once but twice. So naturally, her friends, the Bimbo squad, advises her to keep seeing little Vishy so that she can continue having her new found luck. They also try to get ‘some’ for themselves and end up molesting Vishy’s friend instead. Obviously, none of these girls have attended a sexual harassment class in their entire lives.

Vishy’s friend, the Hungry Hippo, eats a lot and gets slapped around a lot more. His situation progressively worsens as the movies rolls along and his constant whining is a main source of laughs in this movie.

There is also a bald guy with a snake tattoo on his head & a glass eye who I presume is another main villain but comes across as a broker between AJ and Madam Crazy. He mostly talks on the phone and in the end we realise he just wanted a good husband for his dear sister, Madam Crazy!

And then there is Yami. Her main role in this movie is getting beaten up to an inch of her life, somehow surviving the ordeal and then repeating the whole process again. She gets chased around, smashed on the side of the head, punched in the face, thrown head first into a window, thrown to the floor and into a wall. Near the end of the movie, I am pretty sure she is also groped by Madam Crazy. But in the midst of all this, she gets pregnant, gets married and gives birth to a healthy baby.

There is also an assortment of side villains. Big and bulky but stupid as a rock! The only people they manage to beat up in the entire movie are poor defenceless women. But it’s not all bad for woman in this movie, their roles have more importance in the storyline which is another way of saying that their roles are less stupider. Also in the light of the recent cleavage controversy, they have refrained from showing off too much cleavage as well. That role apparently went to the guys; some of them just couldn’t find a proper fitting shirt anywhere it seems.

Okay, now that the characters have been introduced, let’s get to the story. The plot of the movie goes more or less like this: AJ & Vishy act bad and beat up bad people, and so each of them gets a girl – as per nature’s law obviously . One fine day, Madam Crazy had her hands tied up and so, gets a nice gentleman to undo the buttons of her shirt, presumably because the AC was off. AJ misconstrues this as an act of violence and proceeds to slice through a bunch of random guys. Madam Crazy somehow finds this hot and an obsession begins. She must have him. He politely asks her to get lost. Shit escalates. Collateral damage. 3859 random somebodies die (yes I counted). Meanwhile AJ & Vishy try their hand in dancing. Another 9647 die. Finally AJ kills Baldy and Madam Crazy. The audience had died long ago. Moral of the story: Change your own freaking shirt, bitch!

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