The Shepherd & The Consultant

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd… “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?” The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered “Sure”.

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas.

He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130-page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, “You have exactly 1586 sheep.

That is correct; take one of the sheep.” said the shepherd.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd says: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?”

OK, why not.” answered the young man.

Clearly, you are a consultant.” said the shepherd.

That’s correct.” Says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?

No guessing required” answers the shepherd. “You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don’t know crap about my business…… Now give me back my dog.”

Source: The Internet.

Stuff Ads Teach Us (Indian Version)

  1. People who own the Nokia Lumia 920 use only its camera and make lame jokes about random stuff; nothing else.
  2. Every detergent powder is awesome, except this ‘saadharan’ detergent powder which no one has ever seen.
  3. You cannot eat chocolate without smearing it all over your face.
  4. “Please read the offer documents carefully before investing” is to be said faster than the speed of light.
  5. One does not simply watch IPL; one dances with it!
  6. Saif Ali Khan drinks Appy Fizz & eats Lays all day long and still manages to stay fit!
  7. If there is no salt in your kitchen, you can use Toothpaste
  8. You can change your country by drinking Tata Tea
  9. Every second oral care brand is No. 1 and recommended by every dentist in India!!!
  10. If you have an Aircel connection, you can meet Dhoni.
  11. Also Dhoni can’t sleep without his favourite pillow. But don’t worry, random truck drivers will drive all over India to personally deliver it to him.
  12. Every man who needs an insurance policy is called Sharmaji.
  13. During a power cut, Happy Dent can light up your house!
  14. If you don’t clean your toilets regularly, a jobless TV actor will appear unannounced and will clean it for you!
  15. No matter how clean you wash your hands there are always two incredible germs left.
  16. Everybody’s kitchen is either sparkling clean, or will be in about 30 seconds.
  17. Brooms and mops clean everything with one light swoop.
  18. Frooti makes you drool like a child. Either that or those guys ‘really like’ SRK!
  19. Something about a mango prompts Katrina Kaif to make love to it.
  20. Most Colas cure all kinds of phobias. You will be close to a Superman, if you drink these regularly!!
  21. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications
  22. Apply cosmetic products in an ultra-slow motion for them to be effective.
  23. All actresses have a dandruff problem, hair fall, skin damage, grey hair, split ends and what not
  24. If you’ve a hot wife, make sure your neighbour doesn’t use a deodorant in your absence.
  25. The sure shot way to become a fight master – Just wear a ‘baniyan’, according to SRK & Sallu Bhai.
  26. A hair gel can make a difference between you having or not having a girlfriend.
  27. From razors to underwear to bikes & even lungis, a man’s sole purpose in life is to attract a girl.
  28. Men who need to shave have absolutely no facial hair to begin with.
  29. Women have no self control when it comes to Perfumes, Soaps, Powders, Hair Gels, Razors, Baniyan, Underwear, Suits, Watches, Cars etc
  30. All these ‘sun damage’ creams and shampoo makes you think the Sun is the world’s biggest threat  to humanity, not Al-Queda